Two 38C Specials Please and Other Nonsense

I wonder if there are now any unretouched photographs left in this world. There is one that I know of but I'll talk about that later.

CBS Sunday morning showed one of those 'real beauty commercials'. It starts with a good- looking woman who is then made-up to a fare-the-well, but the make-over doesn't stop there. The picture is then photoshopped to elongate the woman's neck, raise her eyebrows and make her eyes bigger. It's all part of the so-called beauty game I guess. It sure ain't real life, but it is on a billboard.

The Blind Date television program claims to be real. I've seen parts of it once or twice, by accident, and found it extremely silly but mostly boring. The producers use captions to indicate how the person's thoughts may not match their words. So, this weekend when we were trying to choose what to watch on pay-per- view, one of the choices was outakes from Blind Date. At least that's what the description said. The short film should have been called Boobs and nothing Butt. Every female blind date had visited the same plastic surgeon and no matter what size their other body parts were, all of them had breasts that were 38C. They all flashed their breasts at their dates and it became obvious that the women were all strippers in real life. The only funny part was the commercial for boobie beer. It was followed by a woman who burped all through her dinner date then later she shook her almost bare ass and farted. True class, or what?

Maybe her burps and the gas that is coming out of Tony Blair's mouth are responsible for the increase in global warming.

After we recovered from watching the Boobs R Us silliness, we watched Inside Man by Spike Lee. In most of the film, everyone is wearing coveralls. It was refreshing not to see many body parts.

I'd like to close with a warning. Do not allow anyone to take a picture of you before 8 a.m. and certainly not before you have imbibed an appropriate amount of caffeine. No amount of photo retouching is of any avail. I shall have to change my name and move to another country if the photo ever escapes custody.

Magic and Tricks

This week, I watched three movies and almost finished one book. Now that the grey and rainy season is here , I'm spending more time in front of the television screen, the computer screen and the movie theatre screen.

I borrowed "L'Age d'Or" from the library. I knew nothing about the film but noticed that Salvadore Dali was one of the writers and it was directed by Luis Bunuel. It's a black and white film made in 1930 and it's very surreal, some of the images are inexplicable, and I'm sure that's intentional. There's no point in mentioning the plot, since it barely exists, but the film is unique in its total strangeness. I understand that later on even Dali refused to be associated it with it, but I'm not sure why, since the film, while it offended many, has a strange magic to it.

And speaking of magic, yesterday we went to see "The Prestige" which opened this weekend. It's a movie about rivalry, tricks and magic and it's set in the early 1900's, more or less. I was fascinated by all the period details, as well as the tricks and the very convoluted way the movie unfolds. I won't reveal much about the plot because that would spoil the movie. I will say I didn't have a clue until the end, and the man in my life didn't either. That's unusual because he takes pride in being able to figure out all the twists and turns and in knowing the ending of a suspenseful film before it's shown. There are two women in the film, but they are merely there as props for the rivalry between the magicians. Too bad. Still, the film is a good solid two hours of entertainment. It was worth the price of two seniors tickets - and it has Michael Caine and David Bowie, in addition to the two main actors who are both excellent.

Friday night, I watched another movie from the library, "Silent Messenger." It's a documentary that "explores the mysteries of the Inuksuit" ... the standing stones found in the Canadian arctic. and also shows the changing ways of the Innuit people. It's outstanding, though not recommended (by me) for young children, since there are graphic hunting scenes. I was mesmerized by the beauty of the landscape and the people. The film was produced by Norman Hallendy who has spent almost 40 years in the far north. I've never been to the far north, yet somehow it is a part of my cultural unconscious. Maybe someday I'll see it for myself, if I'm very lucky.

Right now, I've nearly finished reading "Seek My Face," John Updike's 2002 novel about a 78 year-old painter, her life as an artist, the artists in her life, the transformative power of art, and some other themes as well. The novel is very introspective, but also very visual, and it's chock full of flashbacks and digressions, but it works. At first I found it difficult to stay inside it for long, but after a while, Updike's long paragraphs and the rhythm of them, seduced me. So did all the details about the postwar American art world and the struggles of those who try to produce art, especially female artists.

I was going to look for a book by one of the hot new young authors, but I'm glad I read Updike, instead.

I think I'll go and find some seductive adjectives.

It's All in the Chair

There's an internet site that features pictures of writers' habitats and I found it rather fascinating. No doubt their offices were spruced up for the photos, but I noticed that while many writers have small desks, some are almost as small as mine, they all seem to have very comfortable writing chairs.

Their chairs bear no resemblance my slipshod office chair. Maybe there's some mystic connection between the chair and the writer. My desk chair is both uncomfortable and uninspiring. It even mocks me by tilting when it sit on it. The adjustment handle has a mind of it's own and the fabric is beginning to come away from the seat. I think I'll demote it and start using one of my wooden kitchen chairs. That'll show it who's boss.

And furthermore, I haven't received any good mail.

It's raining so there's nothing for me to do but to stay in and try the kitchen chair.

Oh, and if you want to see the pictures, here's the link.

http://www.paigecuccaro.com/html/the_cave.html

That "F" Word

The local weather forecast for Thursday includes the word "flurries." Maybe the weather reporter was too chicken to say he meant snow flurries. Maybe Flurries or Blizzards from Dairy Queen are going to arrive instead.

I am not ready for even the non-stick kind of snow flurry.

I am however, about ready to spit nails at Mr. Harper, or use the other "F" word when referring to his recent actions. He's cut funding to the national Status of Women and cut funding for court challenges, and and and. It's weird that there are actually people, some of them are female people, who think that Status of Women groups are some secret feminist cabal that intends to rule the world. Not even close. Basic battles are still being fought. Heather Mallick's article on the CBC website has lots of food for thought and some interesting responses.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/viewpoint/vp_mallick/20061006.html

Here endeth the rant, because I am not feeling well.