Friday, December 22, 2006

Passport to Nowhereville, or I am Not Worthy

For a number of reasons, I think I should acquire a new passport. Therefore, I read about the requirements on the Passport Canada website. According to them, I don't know anyone living in Kitchener or maybe anywhere else, who is worthy enough to be my guarantor.

Before this, I had no idea that I lived on the fringes of upright society. I thought I was quite a civilized and worthy person but apparently, I'm not. There are a number of professions listed as appropriate for guarantors but I don't know anyone who is a "professional" in this city (they need to have known me for two years), and I may not be able to find one in Toronto either. The list includes doctors, (don't have one), dentists, (don't have one) judges, magistrates and police officers (I haven't made the acquantance of any) lawyers, (don't have one) ministers of religion, ( I've know several, but none are around now - was it something I said?) and so on. If only social workers were still eligible to be guarantors my problem would be solved. Or what about writers - why can't writers be guarantors. Never mind - we know why. It's because we lie in the service of the truth.

The guy at the passport office was very kind and polite, especially considering that the office was filled to capacity. People were lined up just to get in the real line-up, probably the crowd was bigger because the U.S. is going to require Canadian visitors to have passports before the end of January 2007. The man give me an In Lieu of Guarantor form at my request, but he also warned me that since I'm a Canadian, it would seem odd if I didn't have a guarantor and would really slow the process down.

Oh well, at least I don't need a passport to travel inside Canada.

I'm staying close to home for now and I plan to enjoy my green Christmas.

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